Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize