Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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