we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
