dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize