Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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