He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize