I should be sponsored by Trojan
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
