Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
