My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
are you so shy because you have an std?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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