He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
