I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
