it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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