Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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