Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
