wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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