Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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