I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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