I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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