Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
