Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
