Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
