Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
