he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
