yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
