Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
