Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He passed out mid-signature
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
