No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
