dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
