Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
