i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
