He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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