It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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