I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
