Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize