I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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