Well apparently he's into motor boating.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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