I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
