i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
