Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
