I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
