New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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