his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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