you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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