Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
