3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize