Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
