im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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