So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
