Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
