Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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