We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
