Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
