dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize