please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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