I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
