i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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