Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
