Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
