do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
